Rilcatfag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, kind duck.

Rilcatfag created the planet Jupiter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilcatfag, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rilcatfag, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rilcatfag's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Rilcatfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

2. Never handle nickel while unclean.

3. Do not consume turnips at dawn.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.