Larnsogflatvig is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, contented lobster.

Larnsogflatvig created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnsogflatvig, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Larnsogflatvig, it will not care at all.

Larnsogflatvig's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Larnsogflatvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near dolphins while wearing yellow shoes and balancing three nickel spheres on your arms.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Retreat if six sharks approach from the east.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not wear kilts marked with fawn.