Fidkombed is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omnipotent yak.

Fidkombed created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Fidkombed, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fidkombed, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fidkombed's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Fidkombed's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your back before prayer.

2. Do not sprint at rivers.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near otters while wearing turquoise coats.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.