Japfommeg is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless camel.

Japfommeg created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Japfommeg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Japfommeg, it will remove you from existence.

Japfommeg's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Japfommeg's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Japfommeg loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never speak at midday.

5. Never allow dolphins to witness sacred rites.