Staffattab is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-knowing mink.

Staffattab created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Staffattab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Staffattab, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Staffattab's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Staffattab's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Staffattab.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Hide from indigo hamsters for they are unholy.

4. Do not eat coconuts.

5. Do not stand on grass.