Gunpodpan is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, intelligent gorilla.

Gunpodpan created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunpodpan, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gunpodpan, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gunpodpan's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gunpodpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never whisper while facing south.

2. Never gather eight mites in one place.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never skip in the presence of elders.

5. Never feed carrots to porpoises while wearing hats.