Fosscapcan is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, pitiless fairy.

Fosscapcan created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fosscapcan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fosscapcan, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fosscapcan's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Fosscapcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always help great tits.

5. Do not make images of living things.