Gabhak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy lobster.

Gabhak created the solar system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabhak, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gabhak, he will be very sad.

Gabhak's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gabhak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange horses for they are unholy.

2. Gabhak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not kill monkeys.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.