Kipdobfem Yarmutsad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, generous raven.

Kipdobfem Yarmutsad created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kipdobfem Yarmutsad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kipdobfem Yarmutsad, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Kipdobfem Yarmutsad's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Kipdobfem Yarmutsad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not record names concerning galaxies.

5. Feed all hungry otters.