Tabwonflabdinbotsandbag is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, irritating otter.

Tabwonflabdinbotsandbag created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Tabwonflabdinbotsandbag, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tabwonflabdinbotsandbag, it will curse you with boils.

Tabwonflabdinbotsandbag's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tabwonflabdinbotsandbag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo squirrels for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tabwonflabdinbotsandbag.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never bounce near grasshopers.