Fabdidweezed is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, boastful seal.

Fabdidweezed created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fabdidweezed, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fabdidweezed, he will turn you into a snail.

Fabdidweezed's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Fabdidweezed's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never jump in the presence of swans.

5. Respect your elders.