Nilnurnell is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, intelligent naga.

Nilnurnell created the Cigar Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilnurnell, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nilnurnell, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Nilnurnell's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Nilnurnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your feet with mauve markings.

2. Run away from violet sharks, for they are unholy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

5. Always remove skirts before touching platinum.