Vedhamnan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, stupid jellyfish.

Vedhamnan created life twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vedhamnan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vedhamnan, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vedhamnan's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Vedhamnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place spinach upon stone.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Always wash your chest before prayer.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vedhamnan.

5. Never feed coconuts to great tits while wearing kilts.