Quartfutlop is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless wren.

Quartfutlop created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartfutlop, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Quartfutlop, he will turn you into a rat.

Quartfutlop's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Quartfutlop's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink shrews for they are unholy.

2. Do not gather at wells at midday.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.