Getvenquatwotbun is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, wise whale.

Getvenquatwotbun created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Getvenquatwotbun, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Getvenquatwotbun, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Getvenquatwotbun's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Getvenquatwotbun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick porpoises.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Worship no other gods but Getvenquatwotbun.

5. Do not dye your hair white.