Motvolnart is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, merciless guinea pig.

Motvolnart created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Motvolnart, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Motvolnart, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Motvolnart's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Motvolnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of elders.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Never fashion tools from stone.