Tunlakbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, effective otter.

Tunlakbonk created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunlakbonk, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tunlakbonk, she will curse you with boils.

Tunlakbonk's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tunlakbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with green.

2. Never chant while facing east.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching aluminium.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Tunlakbonk in the centre of the settlement.