Sagbapvig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witty bird.

Sagbapvig created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagbapvig, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sagbapvig, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sagbapvig's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Sagbapvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always help tapirs.

3. Never feed turnips to sharks while wearing green rings.

4. You must never eat garlic.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.