Dotlakpit is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, flying coyote.

Dotlakpit created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotlakpit, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dotlakpit, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dotlakpit's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Dotlakpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sheep.

2. Never mention bats.

3. Never paint your feet green.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always look after injured turtles.