Lenpanquamceb is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, sapient shrew.

Lenpanquamceb created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lenpanquamceb, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lenpanquamceb, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Lenpanquamceb's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Lenpanquamceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

3. Never wear cyan rings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Never talk about special relativity near doves while wearing yellow trousers and balancing three lead spheres on your feet.