Gidpangtan is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, generous badger.

Gidpangtan created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidpangtan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gidpangtan, he will refuse to believe in you.

Gidpangtan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gidpangtan's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Worship no other gods but Gidpangtan.

4. Feed all hungry manatees.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.