Mapfedkam Komgumjig Jipquagstig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, duplicitous frog.

Mapfedkam Komgumjig Jipquagstig created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapfedkam Komgumjig Jipquagstig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Mapfedkam Komgumjig Jipquagstig, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mapfedkam Komgumjig Jipquagstig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Mapfedkam Komgumjig Jipquagstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate thermodynamics during the night.

2. You must pray to Mapfedkam Komgumjig Jipquagstig three times a day.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Always share parsnips with strangers, but never with gulls.