Yartnadquart is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, bad-tempered giraffe.

Yartnadquart created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartnadquart, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yartnadquart, it will manifest in front of you.

Yartnadquart's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Yartnadquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

2. Never skip in the presence of tortoises.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not covet oxen.