Lakmipflig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, idiotic hedgehog.

Lakmipflig created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakmipflig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lakmipflig, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Lakmipflig's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Lakmipflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce at rivers.

2. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.