Jarnyamtap is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, emotional crow.

Jarnyamtap created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnyamtap, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jarnyamtap, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jarnyamtap's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Jarnyamtap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick whales.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never hop in the presence of doves.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.