Targnarldib is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful aardvark.

Targnarldib created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targnarldib, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Targnarldib, she will think nothing of it.

Targnarldib's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Targnarldib's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never stain your neck with mauve.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.