Bankipbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, overgenerous weasel.

Bankipbarn created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bankipbarn, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bankipbarn, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bankipbarn's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bankipbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about spinach.

2. Always look after injured manatees.

3. Do not take Bankipbarn's name in vain.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Never talk about fire.