Fadarmsak Bonkhomsand is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, almighty hippopotamus.

Fadarmsak Bonkhomsand created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fadarmsak Bonkhomsand, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fadarmsak Bonkhomsand, he will turn you into a dog.

Fadarmsak Bonkhomsand's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Fadarmsak Bonkhomsand's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must pray to Fadarmsak Bonkhomsand five times a day.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near seals while wearing violet coats and balancing eight silver spheres on your chest.