Kenlaggum is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, humane lion.

Kenlaggum created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenlaggum, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kenlaggum, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Kenlaggum's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Kenlaggum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near nematodes while wearing red shoes and balancing six tin spheres on your head.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Always help sick bats.

5. Put Kenlaggum first in all things.