Nabgofzen is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, bad-tempered owl.

Nabgofzen created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabgofzen, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Nabgofzen, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nabgofzen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Nabgofzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never chant in the presence of swans.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near seals while wearing yellow boots and balancing three aluminium spheres on your arms.