Ruttveenkin Quillmegbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, blissful jackal.

Ruttveenkin Quillmegbaf created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttveenkin Quillmegbaf, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ruttveenkin Quillmegbaf, it will destroy your favourite star.

Ruttveenkin Quillmegbaf's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Ruttveenkin Quillmegbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think ill of sick goats.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.