Donhaszen is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, annoying dolphin.

Donhaszen created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Donhaszen, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Donhaszen, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Donhaszen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Donhaszen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs yellow.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Donhaszen loves swans, so they must be honoured.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Worship no other gods but Donhaszen.