Pibtofxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unthinking beaver.

Pibtofxuck created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pibtofxuck, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Pibtofxuck, she will ignore you.

Pibtofxuck's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Pibtofxuck's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Pibtofxuck.

2. Never chant near otters.

3. Never think about special relativity near moths while wearing cyan hats and balancing four silver spheres on your arms.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near mice while wearing pink skirts and balancing nine carbon spheres on your face.