Tondinvab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, caring tapir.

Tondinvab created Asia three million years ago.

If you believe in Tondinvab, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tondinvab, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Tondinvab's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tondinvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Feed all hungry voles.

3. Retreat if seven goats approach from the south.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tondinvab.

5. Put Tondinvab first in all things.