Mapfebyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, benevolent cat.

Mapfebyatt created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mapfebyatt, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mapfebyatt, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Mapfebyatt's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Mapfebyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Mapfebyatt loves geese, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Mapfebyatt.