Flatarnrigbess is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, omnipotent sheep.

Flatarnrigbess created a Higgs boson three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatarnrigbess, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flatarnrigbess, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Flatarnrigbess' most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Flatarnrigbess' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red dolphins, for they are unholy.

2. Do not keep seven eagles in a large pit.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never talk about dark energy near seals while wearing purple scarves.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.