Cumflamfom is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unthoughtful goose.

Cumflamfom created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumflamfom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cumflamfom, he will turn you into a mole.

Cumflamfom's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cumflamfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Worship no other gods but Cumflamfom.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Do not listen to music.