Tendapzak Bogbigril Mistadcid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, fussy wolf.

Tendapzak Bogbigril Mistadcid created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tendapzak Bogbigril Mistadcid, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tendapzak Bogbigril Mistadcid, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tendapzak Bogbigril Mistadcid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tendapzak Bogbigril Mistadcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Retreat if six hamsters approach from the south.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not kill mites.

5. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.