Futnillfut is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unjust fairy.

Futnillfut created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Futnillfut, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Futnillfut, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Futnillfut's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Futnillfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run at mountains.

2. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.