Pitbadmis Tenfedbemmitgan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered troll.

Pitbadmis Tenfedbemmitgan created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbadmis Tenfedbemmitgan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pitbadmis Tenfedbemmitgan, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Pitbadmis Tenfedbemmitgan's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Pitbadmis Tenfedbemmitgan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat turtles with great respect.

2. Pray only in darkness.

3. Do not eat aubergines.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Always pray immersed in water.