Tamvinlangar is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, weak jackal.

Tamvinlangar created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamvinlangar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tamvinlangar, she will torture you forever.

Tamvinlangar's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tamvinlangar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five iron sculptures of Tamvinlangar on top of important buildings.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tamvinlangar.

5. You must love Tamvinlangar.