Nurlfaggem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy slug.

Nurlfaggem created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfaggem, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nurlfaggem, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Nurlfaggem's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Nurlfaggem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near eagles while wearing brown trousers and balancing nine gold spheres on your head.

5. Run away if three whales approach from the north.