Tetticangig is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tranquil jaguar.

Tetticangig created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tetticangig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tetticangig, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Tetticangig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tetticangig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five bats approach from the east.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tetticangig.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

5. Always treat frogs with great respect.