Dussafont Cip is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered jaguar.

Dussafont Cip created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Dussafont Cip, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dussafont Cip, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dussafont Cip's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Dussafont Cip's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near badgers while wearing magenta boots and balancing five tin spheres on your feet.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.