Cissfidpark is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, all-powerful hedgehog.

Cissfidpark created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissfidpark, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cissfidpark, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cissfidpark's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Cissfidpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. You must never eat cucumbers.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.