Bemquafgab Flispoptal is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty warg.

Bemquafgab Flispoptal created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemquafgab Flispoptal, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bemquafgab Flispoptal, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bemquafgab Flispoptal's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bemquafgab Flispoptal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

2. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always obey Bemquafgab Flispoptal's priests.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.