Yarlbimven is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, two-faced hippopotamus.

Yarlbimven created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlbimven, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yarlbimven, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Yarlbimven's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Yarlbimven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never speak at dawn.

3. Never mention tortoises.

4. Do not eat turnips.

5. Never cross crossroads at midnight.