Ceptikfud is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent narwhal.

Ceptikfud created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ceptikfud, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ceptikfud, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ceptikfud's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Ceptikfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at wells at midnight.

2. Do not resist order.

3. Always remove trousers before touching platinum.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Ceptikfud loves otters, so they must be honoured.