Yattifrot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, sage octopus.

Yattifrot created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattifrot, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yattifrot, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Yattifrot's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Yattifrot's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Always obey Yattifrot's priests.