Fitfemyik is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unfair rhinoceros.

Fitfemyik created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitfemyik, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitfemyik, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fitfemyik's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Fitfemyik's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat spinach.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never wear purple corsets.