Flatbep is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, loving dragonfly.

Flatbep created carbon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flatbep, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flatbep, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Flatbep's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Flatbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never mention snails.

5. Always help sick bats.