Fetflybess is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, narcissistic gnu.

Fetflybess created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetflybess, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fetflybess, it will turn you into a slug.

Fetflybess' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Fetflybess' Holy Commandments

1. Never allow whales to witness sacred rites.

2. Never feed gooseberries to monkeys while wearing jumpers.

3. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.