Panweefumcuss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, flying squid.

Panweefumcuss created snails nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Panweefumcuss, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Panweefumcuss, she will curse you with boils.

Panweefumcuss' most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Panweefumcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of badgers.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not hurt monkeys.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.