Satvilnutsog is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fast crab.

Satvilnutsog created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satvilnutsog, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Satvilnutsog, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Satvilnutsog's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Satvilnutsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle platinum while unclean.

2. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not place aubergines upon stone.

5. Never eat green fruit.