Cep is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, strong aardvark.

Cep created the planet Jupiter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cep, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cep, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cep's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cep's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

3. Never remain bowed at midnight.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never record numbers.