Hatyartnar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, effective squirrel.

Hatyartnar created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatyartnar, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hatyartnar, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hatyartnar's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Hatyartnar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always treat snails with great respect.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Hide from purple tortoises for they are unholy.

5. Always help squirrels in need.