Tomlandab is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonourable meerkat.

Tomlandab created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomlandab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tomlandab, she will turn you into a mole.

Tomlandab's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Tomlandab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Always help moths.

4. Feed all hungry snails.

5. Always help sick ducks.