Vogbotflatfat is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, conceited slug.

Vogbotflatfat created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogbotflatfat, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vogbotflatfat, it will manifest in front of you.

Vogbotflatfat's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Vogbotflatfat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four bats approach from the north.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Run away from green swans, for they are unholy.